ytd was meeting up day i guess. zexian came to find me at work cos he was too bored. it was weird. first time meeting up after you-know. but simpang with bing and zach made everything better. bing is super retarded. come on babe. your joke isnt funny when u keep laughing while trying to tell it. hahaha. i was laughing at you. not the joke lah.
2007 is coming to an end. there were many changes in my life. come to think of it. there wasnt any decisions that i really deeply regretted. mayb just a fleeting feeling of regret. yes. but not something that i would give up everything to get it back. situations that came after my decision was one of the best things that happened to me in 2007 esp. clar :))
it is in 2007 that i learned to be stronger. learned to be more independent. learned to be unspoilt (im still trying :D). learned to grow up. learned to control my emotions. learned to adapt. while many of these were not what i will wanna do. but i guess it jus came naturally to build me up. to protect myself.
2007 is filled with fragments of memories. some bad ones. some extremely good ones. i noe. memories are meant to be kept deep in the heart. i will. at the same time. some memories kept in the heart makes me ponder. makes me feel insecure. makes me feel inadequate to move on but to keep everything to myself.
just a few more weeks to the end of the year. i just hope everything will continue to go well. no more quarrels to drain away my mental and physical strength pls. just smiles, laughter and love will do. thanks for those who had been there for me whenever i feel down or up <3>
Monday, December 10, 2007 <3
now i noe what it means by never be replaced.
i finally decided to go for camp breakaway. mayb its a place where i can straighten my thoughts. where God will speak to me. where it will be a place of solitude. a place of fun. a place where no negative thoughts. and no hurts exist. where i can go back on the right path with God.
things have been falling down heavily on me. i cant breathe. i cant wait for the camp. away from everything. maybe.
i want a stranger like bing said. someone who just listen. and dont judge cos they dont noe you well. its surprising how its more comfortable to tell your problems to someone who dont really know you well enough.
but at the same time. more often. i tell them to people who knew me inside out. upside down. its weird how they can read your mind so easily. when you dont even speak a word. they can sense something is weighing you down. somewhere inside you its hurting. breaking. masking to pretend nothing happened.
